Conversation Two … Go Within

I had been experiencing a period of frustration and apparent inactivity in fulfilment of my life purpose and was reaching a stage where I felt alone in my dilemma. However even though I was feeling these negative emotions somewhere inside of me I knew that all was not lost again. That earlier in my life I had been tempered in the fires of initial awakening and that it was by my own choice that I could once again find the light and joy in my life. I am here to lead, show me how you want me to do this

 To go within and wait

But I have been waiting for centuries

But time is but a premise that does not exist. You know this. Why are you unwilling to register this in your Life?

Because I am still seduced by the notion of three-dimensional reality and the learned conditioning of the lifetime and would dearly love to be done with it.

Then do so

I want to ask how much longer is this going to take and I know the answer but it certainly gets to be a pain in the butt when you Know the Truth but can’t seem to hang onto it long enough to integrate it fully in your own experience. Sometimes I think this is all a game and those of us on our own conscious journey of awakening are just fooling ourselves. Why am I not getting the results I believed would be evident by now? I feel like I’ve been in the desert for so long.

 If you would be willing to …

NO! no more abstract mumbo jumbo. I want a straight answer, something that I can use now please

Very well. Straight answer. Wait with the expectation of a miracle. Waiting with no expectation leads to self-doubt, depression and frustration. Waiting with joyous expectation leads to miracles. However be aware that the joyous expectation does not manifest itself in your images of visualisation but in the ways that your godliness can best be experienced.

Previously I have been able to do this with little effort. However for some reason at the moment I feel this is very taxing to me and I am running out of the emotional strength for it.

You are holding onto the thread of your faith. Faith is the anchor here. Faith in yourself, faith in your fulfilment, faith in your power. This is The Goddess energy that you want so much to embody; that does identify you however you are being tested and I know you do not like that word however it is the most appropriate word at the moment. You are putting yourself through a test. Are you really The Goddess? This is what you are asking yourself. You are trusting yourself on a deep level and setting up sabotage mechanisms everywhere in the life you wished for many years ago and have now manifested. Let it be. Leave yourself alone. Meaning let yourself be All-one. You are the embodiment of The Goddess. Stop angsting over everything. Enjoy!

But I feel like I have so much to share, to get the word out.

 What word is that?

The words you are telling me.

Well then listen to me first. How can you get a message out if you do not listen to the message yourself first? How can you possibly share a truth if you have not first acknowledged it or lived it yourself?

Fair point I guess but can’t we speed this up a bit. I mean I feel like I’m in a time warp, stuck in the same place going around and around

 That is why you are here in this lifetime doing what you appear to be doing. You are experiencing The Goddess in expression, the core of you. However you are just beginning to realise how this feels. You Know what it means to be The Goddess but you are still testing how it feels. Put your energies into going within and listening and joyously expecting answers.

OK

Now waste no more time. The Goddess has been waiting for you whilst you thought you were waiting for everything in your life to fall in place.